heyy i can’t believe it. the last time i updated, i wrote that mco has been extended until 14th april. it’s already 22nd may and here i am, still under mco, more specifically cmco. a whole two months at home. and yes, we’re gonna be having midsem and finals online too. what a new and weird experience, right? i have been feeling a little bit down and overwhelmed lately. i dont know, maybe it’s just that i have too much to do and i’ve been a little lazy? i’m not sure, i’ve been studying diligently and also kept up with all the lectures. now that all the lectures are completed, all i need to do now is to prepare for midsem exam, which is very soon a.k.a in a week’s time. and then, i still have quite a few assignments, presentations and a proposal report to prepare for. 😭 just by listing it out, i already feel overwhelm :( i mean it’s not that i’ve been procrastinating a lot or what, but i feel like bringing myself to actually start the task itself is so hard. i’m just kinda disappointed with myself i guess… help….

it’s so tiring having to study and all and then have to prepare for presentations (slides and the script), then the assignments. aaHHHH i thought finishing most of it earlier will rid me of all the stress i am facing right now but no. i tried to finish many of it early and submitted them already but i’m still lowkey stressed. 

the thing is, i find studying and learning at home is really inefficient for me. in my personal opinion, the stress i am facing at home is actually more than when i was studying in campus or library. living at home means that i have so many more things to take care of, for example taking care of my dog, i have to clean the house, clean my room. if i dont, i’ll get comments from my mum which makes me more stressed out lol. then of course, when everyone’s at home, the house will be quite noisy (not really in a bad way, but then like more people will talking and the noise, i just cant) and when sometimes my uncles will visit, i will get kinda annoyed. it’s not that i don’t their companion, it’s like i finally sat down and wanted to study but then somebody came and i have to (i feel like im obligated to entertain them) like talk to them or what. i just cant. it just made me realise how much i need to live alone, peacefully in the future lol. i probably wont have many people coming to visit because i feel like i really need my personal space and a quiet environment every now and then to be able to ‘function’ like a normal human being, if not, i feel very cranky ,i just hate noises so much.. worse yet, sometimes it’s not the physical voice that’s bothering me. 

i found out that, staying in for too long, made me, a typical over thinker, think a lot. it’s my thoughts that are bothering me sometimes. i just have so much on my mind all. the. time. im like so tired but i just cant stop thinking. i want to do my best in everything i could. there’s like so many things i wanna do but i just cant. also, i think i’ve been spending an unhealthy amount of time on youtube i probably need to control myself.😭 there’s so many things that i wanna do like reading before bed, practicing piano and stuffs but i just can’t bring myself to do that… i don’t think i’m a good multitasker. :/ 

but on a positive note, i’ve been working out regularly. i dont know, it’s not that im working towards the goal of losing weight or what, but i just feel like if i workout, im gonna be more productive throughout the day (or night i should say..) yea, and that’s why i workout. and it’s not a bad thing so im enjoying it as well. :”) well, i used to think that it’s such a hassle to workout but i think it’s better now.

ps: and!!! lately ive been into a drama series (someday or one day) and also the main lead 許光漢 😍 . the drama itself is really really good and i just realised how good of an actor he is TT. i’ve been trying to watch all his previous works and im totally in love with them. hehe. it’s been so long since i last found a new favourite actor.🤍

well, i hope that i will be able to prepare for my midsem exams well and also tackle all those assignments, presentations and proposal report. i WILL DO WELL! always feel so relieved after writing it all out. well, im gonna unwind and chill a little before going to bed. until then x.